Day 23 & 24 Captivating

 In a couple of posts ago , I talked about howI was looking back and am questioning why I have the motivation now but could not seem to muster it up before.What I found was that it was a journey. I do see it as layers being pulled back and dealt with. Someday I am going to read that book by Sandi Patty; Layers. I am sure it would be quite insightful. One of the layers that had to and most likely still is being pulled away is knowing who I am in Christ and enjoying that person. Afterall, I was created in the image of God to be a daughter of the King. And for crying out loud can you even wrap your brain around the fact that God the creator of the universe, the sunsets,the stars, the mountains, the waves of the ocean, the sound of those waves..... ** Sigh** ..( my very favorite sound), the flowers and on and on ; that He also created you and me. We are His workmanship, His masterpiece. We are the where He longs for His spirit to live.the home of His temple. Geez, when I park my brain on that one for a while I am blown away!!!!! And how can it not lead to worship???? One of the tools God used to help lead to this ridding of this layer ;the layer that does not believe all of this, was  the book Captivating Unveiling The Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John and Staci Eldredge.  Just writing this makes me want to go read it again.

Sunday Day 23 ~ Breakfast~South Beach Bar ,coffee Lunch ~ 6 inch Sub at Subway and a bag of baked barbecue chips Supper ~ Shared medium fries w/ a friend at McDonalds while we worked on Science lesson plans. Peanut butter spoon

Walked 30 minutes on treadmill

Monday Day 24 ~ Breakfast ~  South Beach Bar, coffee and some handfuls of Life

Lunch~ Leftover chicken from Damons and rest of baked potatoe

Dinner ~Progresso Soup and tortilla chips and a Sugar cookie.

Snack ~ Peanut butter spoons

Went for a walk not sure how long.

WARNING

If any of you reading are guys  you may want to stop now because you will now find some girl talk!!! 

 I have been struggling so much lately w/ craving sweets. And I am sure I have picked on some sweet things more thatn I have been writing. Not because I am lying but because I truly cannot remember. I am finding that the time between ovulation and when I actually get a visit from Aunt Flo ( sorry!! ) I want sweets in the worst way and the last thing I really want to do is excercise. Boy, can those couple of weeks really ruin all of the work you put in before hand !!!!! So I have got to get myself some sort of  plan for next month. If you have anything that you could share that could help , please let me know!!!!! One of my friends said that Vitamin B ( I think ) curbs those cravings. I plan on researching  on this. I will let you know what I find.

Day 20 My Sweet Tooth is Acting Up!!!!!

 I am dragging .Tired !! It is during that time when I crave sweets. Definetely a dangerous time to bake but that is what I want to do. Day 20 went like this:
Breakfast ~ South Beach bar coffee and snuck some cookie batter out of the fridge. Just keeping it real! And I have been challenged by Beth Moore not to lie for a whole week. After that I can lie all I want . LOLOL Just kidding!!!!
Lunch ~ Progresso Light soup ( Santa Fe Chicken is my fav!!)  and tortilla chips and snuck some more batter. BLAH!!! Something sweet and salty!
Dinner ~ Was invited out to dinner by some wonderful friends. :0) We went to Applebees and I had some sort of a chicken Mexican Salad. I ate half and brought the rest home. I also had a Dessert shooter.mmmmmm Strawberry Cheesecake. That is a yummy little shotglass of a taste of dessert. What a great idea!! For only 2 bucks!!!

Well, I am itching to up the level on my treadmill  but I still haven't gotten to the Running Store to get me some new running shoes yet. So, what I decided to do was to stay on the treadmill longer.I did the WL program on Level 2 for 60 minutes. I ran 3.25 miles. I am in awe when I think of the difference from that first day of running and now. Woo Hooo!! It does get easier and more enjoyable. Oh , Oh , Oh  I did not mention that I must have burned so many calories laughing this evening!!! It was a much needed retreat and the laughter was so good for my soul!! Thank you !! It was a very long day in this house!!!

Day 20 leaves me with lotts of thoughts and one is this. As I look at my Blog Archives and see Journey to 40 & Sporty over and over again ... I am getting a little tired of it. I am sorry if you are. It feels a bit vain but I hope you know that is never my intent. Such accountability I am finding in doing this and I hope that my sharing this journey can help someone  in some way. My desire is to glorify God in all that I do and I know that being overweight and out of shape  has really gotten in the way of my hearts longing to do so. Right or wrong. I know this is not Gods best for me.. So,to work I go on rebuilding this temple. I am praying that I do not lose that focus because w/out that focused mind it will all fall apart.  Gods balance is beautiful and that is the prayer in my heart when I pray about this journey. To be fit for my King!!!

Day 18 & 19 ( I can't believe I am writing that!!!!! Part 2)

 

It is a snow day today !!! YAY!!!!! Finally we have some snow worth talking about. I feel so happy today and Black Eyed Susans make me happy so I chose this shot for today. All of the snow shots I am going to take today deserve their own post!!! :0) I am so excited about this day! But I think I have too many plans. First I am cancelling school , I am going to clean my room and the schoolroom, I will do some lesson planning, I plan to go outside and play  and take some shots of the beauty and fun., And definetely I am going to make cookies w/ my new Kitchen Aid. I found this really cute recipe for Melted Snowman Cookies that I found  at one of my favorite blogs.http://mycrazyadoption.org/   Did I mention that I would also like to make homemade bread oh and not to mention that I did not excercise yet.

Yes, I cannot believe I am writing about Day 18!!! I am more than 1/2 way to 30 and they say that once you do something for a month it becomes a habit!! I hope it is true because I cannot wait until excercise is like second nature to me!! Like I said in the last post I have been really pondering why all of the sudden I have this motivation and here is what I am finding........... As I look back I see that this has definetely been a journey w/ many steps and many layers.  And right now I just have to say  that I hesitate writing this w/ fear that tomorrow this motivation could be gone. **Sigh** I have been on this roller coaster all too long w/ many ups and downs. But anywho....the journey.. I realized not too long ago that I have always thought I was fat. About 11 years ago my friends daughters asked if she could borrow my old cheerleading uniform for Halloween. I said ,"Sure but you will  need lotts of pins because it will be way too big for you." This girl is a string bean. Well, guess what... it fit her perfectly . She needed no pins whatsoever. I was so sad to realize how much time and energy I had waisted thinking I was fat when I should have just enjoyed being a girl and  being who it was that God had created me to be. At that moment I knew there was something wrong w/ my mind and my thought process. I don't know when or how but at some point I started believing the lies that I am sure Satan enjoyed getting me to believe.  I believed the lies that I wasn't good enough and I believed the lies that said that beauty wasn't about your heart but about what you look like, what size you are.  And which has led me here. When you do not feel good about yourself it is hard to take good care of yourself.

Another part of this process is believing! One of my favorite verses is is Phillippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Oh, I have really loved that verse but I realize that I have not really believed it. I quoted it so often but did not really believe it!!  With all of that said , I certainly do not feel I have fully overcome these things but a clicking moment has happened and I am ready to rebuild this Temple! It is a wonderful feeling but know I need lotts of prayer!!

DAY 18

For breakfast on ~ I had a South Beach Bar and coffee

For Lunch ~ I had Progresso Soup and tortilla chips w/ some of that stinkin mustard dip

For dinner ~ Flank Steak, mashed potatoes and corn

Snack ~ 1/4 C or less of cashews

I ran 2.65 miles on the treadmill

DAY 19

Breakfast ~ South Beach Bar coffee

Lunch ~ Progresso Soup , Tortilla chips w/ that evil dip

Dinner ~ Omelet and Turkey Bacon

For excercise I went outside to play and for a walk enjoying the beautiful snow!!!!

Day 16 & 17 ( I can't believe I am writing that!!!! Part 1)

I am wanting to make cookies with the kids for Valentines Day but am feeling like I would be entering Danger Zone. Boy I could go for a yummy cookie to dip in my coffee about now. :0)How about 4 or 5.lol

Wow !!! I can't believe that it has been 17 days and I have excercised on all 17 of them. Oh wait  I did miss one that's right. But still 16  out of 17 still feels pretty good!! And I have to say , " If I can do it , anyone can."  Sometimes I get frustrated when I hear others say that so I am sorry . But that is truly how I feel. I had every excuse in the book why it was so hard for me to excercise. I know now that they were all lies. Lies that I truly believed. The bottom line for me  is this : It is definetely the will of God to be healthy and in good shape so therefore, He will give me what I need to accomplish that. The key is that I need to obey and let Him help me. I could do none of it w/ out His strength.  I don't know why I could not get motivated  until now. I know He was always there ready to help. I have been thinking about that because I have had plenty of things over the years that should have motivated me.. A cruise, a reunion,weddings, my love for swimming,fit into clothes or how about the time someone in the grocery store asked me if I was preggo, or oh yeah  the time a grandmother told the kids that they were beautiful but their mother was fat, and let's not forget every year on the 4th of July when every single person from your past who knew you back in the day is up on the Green in town. LOL Boy , I am feeling a little vulnerable right now and like maybe I am being too real!!!   Well, to be honest , some of those times just made me very depressed and you know how motivated you are when you are depressed. And I think alot of the other times just led to stress because I did not believe that I could do it. And unfortunely when I am stressed sometimes I eat. because that certainly will solve everything. LOL   I think at times I forget that one of my favorite sayings  is WHY WORRY WHEN YOU CAN PRAY and not  WHY PRAY WHEN YOU CAN EAT or get on Facebook.   Boy I think it is time for me to shutup before I divulge all of my weaknesses. And now I have said a bad word. I love that my kids get all upset when someone says that "bad word."  : 0)  Anywho, I have been thinking about and wondering why all of the sudden I feel motivated and am actually doing something about it.Here are my thoughts: Actually  this is turning into a very long post so I will share my thoughts next time. I have to get out of Blogland and into Get ready for the day land.
Sunday Day 16
2 peanutbutter spoons and coffee and a couple of handfuls of Quaker Oat Squares
Spagetti w/ sauce
 South Beach Peanutbutter bar and Superbowl snackings: 1 wing ,crackers and Mildreds Marvelous Mustard Dip, a spoonful of sloppy joe w/out a roll , Tortilla chips and Marys Marvelous Mexican Dip, a rootbeer float w/ diet rootbeer and fat free frozen yogurt
I walked 30 minutes on the treadmill
Monday Day 17
Peanutbutter spoon and 1/2 C QOsquares and coffee
Progresso Soup w/ some tortilla chips
2 peanut butter SB bars 1/4 C smoothie and Angel Food cake ( I was starving when I got home from The Biggest Loser Club and working out)
I must confess that I snacked a bit here and there on Mildreds Mustard Dip and crackers throughout the day. It is all Livys fault. She asked to bring leftovers home. lol This stuff ought to be illegal !!!!! Livy forgets all about manners in its presence. :0\
I ran a little bit more than 4 miles today ( trying to give myself a Last Chance Workout. I screamed " This is your last chance" while doing it . LOL) and then did a crazy kick buttin excercise Dvd w/ all of my Loser friends after weigh in.

Journey to 40 and Sporty Day 12

 I am longing for the carefree days of Summer.Here is one of the shots I took back in the summer while I was enjoying my online photography class. I am longing for those kind of days.  Though, I am excited about the snow we just got. I need to get out there with my camera.

Well, on day 12 I made sure and got on that treadmill in the morning . I wasn't up for a late date at 9 something pm w/ the treadmill again. I ran my WL program again for 50 minutes and got in 2.65 miles. I am ready to up the level but I tried last week and I was feeling it in my shins. Last year, I got shin splints so bad that I would be close to tears just walking to another room. I sooo do not want that to happen again. It is a given that I need new running shoes and that would be a # 1 cause for shin splints. So, I plan to wait to take it up a level until I make a visit to the Running Center.I am hoping that will be very soon!!!

Menu for day 12:

Breakfast: We ran out of eggs so I had left over grilled chicken and gaarlic w/ 2 slices ( thin) of red. fat block cheese on a 1/2 of a sandwhich thin

Lunch: Popcorn and some peanuts I wasn't too hungry because I ate a late breakfast

Dinner: Chicken Fajitas and sweet potatoe chips ( I baked slices of sweet potatoes w/ sprinkle of cinnamon on them) Yummy Yummy dinner!!!!

Journey to 40 and Sporty Day 7

Yesterday was one of those busy hectic days and by the time I got home, I plopped myself  on the couch and vegged in front of the TV. But because of you, blogland, I made sure and got on that treadmill yesterday. : ) THANKYOU!! After dinner I got on that treadmill and walked for 30 minutes before we had to leave for small group. Nothing that led to much of a sweat  because I knew I did not have time for a shower but I did it!!! Woo Hoo!! That would never have happened before because not only was it a busy day but I was one tired girl. I am doing a Bible Study on Proverbs with Beth Moore on line and it is just amazing to me how God works everything togther and how He is using this so much in my life  for where I am at , what I need to do and what I long to do. So , you may be hearing me thanking God alot for the fact that He did not create me to be a Weak Willed Woman and that I can COPE.  But certainly not on my own strength.. That is for sure!!!!
My menu yesterday looked like this:
Breakfast : Scrambled eggs w/ 1 egg and 1 egg white and about 2 T of Red. fat cheese
Lunch : Low salt baked Turkey and 1slice of american cheese on a  whole wheat sandwhich thin w/ redwine vinagrette and a handful of pretzels
Dinner:  Roast,Potatoes and carrots ( Not much as the roast was too fatty) Then at small group there are always goodies. So.... I had a sliver no joke I really mean a sliver of each goodie. Apple cake and peanut butter bars. Now, I wish I had none but ..... what I really wanted was to have 2 pieces of that peanut butter
stuff. So victorious or not???? Not too sure.
 I wanted to have kept points yesterday and to have started using concepts of another program that I know would be so good for me  since I know my downfall are bad carbs but I didn't.: ( I did ,however, get out my Weight Watchers parafanalia and my food scale and my journal where I plan to keep track of this journey and they will all take up permanenet residency on my counter. Well, maybe unless company comes and they get stuffed in a laundry basket ( with the rest of my piles) and put into another room w/ the door closed. LOL This morning I am making a menu and grocery list and hopefully will get to the store. BTW what happend to my spell check here???? Hmmm???  Oh well! I may drive some of you nuts. Just for the record , I am a pretty good speller but an awful typist!!!

And P.S.I did come back and fix some things after I posted . It was driving me nuts!!LOL

Journey to 40 and Sporty Day 6

 well, I am going to try and keep this as short as possible. I am preparing for Science tomorrow. I have been so excited about this lesson for awhile. We will be learning about the invention of the first photograph and how a camera works.  I have been reading the book my curriculum has me use over and over again for days ,trying to figure out how  I was going to explain this to the kids. A little stressed I must say, We were actually suppose to meet w/ our good friends the Ords today  but because of the snow we are meeting tomorrow. I am so glad  because finally tonight I found a neat project to do with them. They will make their own camera obscura.  I showed the lesson ( from the curriculum) to my husband  and asked him to read what they want us to read in this book and help me figure out a better way to explain. He read it and said " Is this book for kids?" I was so glad and wished that I had  not spent so much time reading this over and over  and just did my own thing. BLAH!!! So, now I am doing my own thing and actually having some fun. Hopefully they will have more fun since I was given an extra day and am going to KICK this book aside.

Today for breakfast I had ceral and 1% milk and coffee. For lunch Progresso soup and a handful of tortilla chips. For dinner Tacos. Still no points or staying focused on more proteins and veggies.  Geez, I just can't seem to get that going on.

I went to Tae bo tonight and had a good workout. Good night all . Sleep Tight.!!! BTW I am finding that since I have been exercising , I have more energy at night and I am sleeping better. :)

Journey to 40 and Sporty Day 4

 This morning I ran a whole mile straight through w/ out walking. Woo Hooo!! This may have been the first time in my adult life. I usually do a weight loss program on my treadmill which has you walk a little and then it speeds up and then speeds back down  and so on. So after that  mile and  a little celebration dance , I got back on and did the WL program for another 30 minutes. So altogether,  this morning, I did 2 miles.  And you are not going to believe this but  tonight while Livy had dance I walked the school halls with my friend Tammie. I feel like doing a cheer. :) It really is true that once you start moving more it really is something you actually want to do and something you look forward to!! The key is to not stop  because once you stop  it is hard to start again. I have been on that roller coaster all too long!!

I did not keep points today like I wanted to  but here is what I ate today:
For breakfast I had scrambled eggs ( 1 egg and 1 egg white mixed with 2%) with 2 T red.fat cheese and 2 slices of Turkey bacon
For lunch I had Vegetarian Vegetable soup and I snuck 2 of the kids chicken nuggets ( Not  Micky Ds but baked)
For dinner I had a Southwestern Salad w/ grilled chicken from Micky Ds

Tomorrow is a challenge w/ my Biggest Loser Club. Together w/ my teammate we have to run 2 miles and the team that comes in first place gets immunity. I am hoping that running outside in the cold will not be alot harder than running inside on the treadmill. If not I actually think my team could have a shot!!  I am going to take a break from the treadmill tomorrow morning  and rest up my muscles for the big challenge. Instead when I get up at the wee hours I will burn some calories and clean like a mad woman. My house is a wreck!! Good night friends ! I am off to watch the Biggest Loser if I can get my DH  to give up the remote!

Jorney to 40 & Sporty Day 2

 Well, I must confess something to you all and it is not pretty and it is only Day 2. I made Guy Davids favorite cake ( and of course one of mine) yesterday. Chocolate cake w/ peanut butter icing. (( BIG SIGH))  This cake was suppose to be gone by the end of the party but it was not and we brought home just about the whole cake. With that said, a little bite w/ my coffee this moring turned into having a piece of cake for breakfast. It was a small piece not that that makes me feel any better but I had to make that known.  How did I fall so fast and hard?? I will tell you how and it has to do with some of what I have been learning. I was not prepared for battle and I did not have my armor on. I did not start my day in the word or in prayer. I have learned that on the days when that is the first thing that I do , I am able to focus and be strong and have a desire for things that are good for me.  Plain and simple.  So ,there you have it , for breakfast I had chocolate cake. For lunch I had Taco Salad lite on the cheese and taco meat. Then I took a long nap. My family went to a friends house to watch football and I sent all of the cake in the house w/ them and asked that they return w/ empty pans. Now I must excercise. And it is all thanks to you blogland that I am not going to snuggle up on the couch  but will be getting on that treadmill. Thank you Jesus for I know you will give me the strength!!! Even after a long nap , I am exhausted and so want to call it a day!!