Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Day 18 & 19 ( I can't believe I am writing that!!!!! Part 2)

It is a snow day today !!! YAY!!!!! Finally we have some snow worth talking about. I feel so happy today and Black Eyed Susans make me happy so I chose this shot for today. All of the snow shots I am going to take today deserve their own post!!! :0) I am so excited about this day! But I think I have too many plans. First I am cancelling school , I am going to clean my room and the schoolroom, I will do some lesson planning, I plan to go outside and play  and take some shots of the beauty and fun., And definetely I am going to make cookies w/ my new Kitchen Aid. I found this really cute recipe for Melted Snowman Cookies that I found  at one of my favorite blogs.   Did I mention that I would also like to make homemade bread oh and not to mention that I did not excercise yet.
Yes, I cannot believe I am writing about Day 18!!! I am more than 1/2 way to 30 and they say that once you do something for a month it becomes a habit!! I hope it is true because I cannot wait until excercise is like second nature to me!! Like I said in the last post I have been really pondering why all of the sudden I have this motivation and here is what I am finding........... As I look back I see that this has definetely been a journey w/ many steps and many layers.  And right now I just have to say  that I hesitate writing this w/ fear that tomorrow this motivation could be gone. **Sigh** I have been on this roller coaster all too long w/ many ups and downs. But anywho....the journey.. I realized not too long ago that I have always thought I was fat. About 11 years ago my friends daughters asked if she could borrow my old cheerleading uniform for Halloween. I said ,"Sure but you will  need lotts of pins because it will be way too big for you." This girl is a string bean. Well, guess what... it fit her perfectly . She needed no pins whatsoever. I was so sad to realize how much time and energy I had waisted thinking I was fat when I should have just enjoyed being a girl and  being who it was that God had created me to be. At that moment I knew there was something wrong w/ my mind and my thought process. I don't know when or how but at some point I started believing the lies that I am sure Satan enjoyed getting me to believe.  I believed the lies that I wasn't good enough and I believed the lies that said that beauty wasn't about your heart but about what you look like, what size you are.  And which has led me here. When you do not feel good about yourself it is hard to take good care of yourself.
Another part of this process is believing! One of my favorite verses is is Phillippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Oh, I have really loved that verse but I realize that I have not really believed it. I quoted it so often but did not really believe it!!  With all of that said , I certainly do not feel I have fully overcome these things but a clicking moment has happened and I am ready to rebuild this Temple! It is a wonderful feeling but know I need lotts of prayer!!
DAY 18
For breakfast on ~ I had a South Beach Bar and coffee
For Lunch ~ I had Progresso Soup and tortilla chips w/ some of that stinkin mustard dip
For dinner ~ Flank Steak, mashed potatoes and corn
Snack ~ 1/4 C or less of cashews
I ran 2.65 miles on the treadmill
DAY 19
Breakfast ~ South Beach Bar coffee
Lunch ~ Progresso Soup , Tortilla chips w/ that evil dip
Dinner ~ Omelet and Turkey Bacon
For excercise I went outside to play and for a walk enjoying the beautiful snow!!!!

1 comment:

Mark and Wendy said...

You know, I had a similar revelation recently. I was sorting through some clothes someone had donated to the church, and there was a size 10 pair of pants in the pile. I looked at them and was so envious of being "that small." And then I recalled that before we moved to AK, I was constantly battling my weight-and I actually wore a size 10! Three babies later, I'm doubtful I'll ever get there again...