Thursday, November 12, 2009

" Whatever else anything is,it ought to begin by being personal."

This is my very favorite line from my very favorite movie " You've Got Mail." I was up so early this morning and could not sleep. I decided to go to Facebook. Updating my status was hard for me this morning. I had so much on my mind and I just found myself frustrated. I love Facebook for the whole fun of it and being able to keep up w/ people who I normally would not. And most of the time I love the quickness of it. A little status here , a little status there but this morning I found it so impersonal. I am always left wanting something more. I decided to go to one of my favorite blogs and I realized why it is my favorite... because it is personal! This gal shares her heart and it is an honest,real & beautiful one. I was left wanting to blog the truth of what was on my heart. Why ? I don't know. The older I have gotten the more I struggle making myself vulnerable and the more I worry about what others think. And when I do it I worry that I may have been offensive or worry that I may have been misunderstood. Well , hardly anyone reads my blog so here goes . LOL
Last night I was out w/ some friends and one of them shared that a relative of a relatives little baby girl just died. She was suppose to have her first birthday party on Sat. I am tearing up again now as I write this and last night I fought everything w/ in me to keep from sobbing! I had this deep urge to stop what we were doing and pray for these precious parents who just lost their baby girl;their only child. Why didn't I?? I sat there trying to keep participating but all I could think of is all that they must be feeling at that moment.... when your world is paused or in slow motion filled w/ despair and the rest of the world is just going on as planned. My heart is breaking as I remember what that feels like. I wish there was something I could do for these people I don't even know and who live in a different State. With every little thing I am consumed w/ today,I think to myself " and there is this couple grieving the loss of their daughter at this moment." I know that is how life works but I am just so sad today. Yes ,this is the time of year where I think about my little one more than usual but this sadness really is not about me but because someone is experiencing that excruciating pain. Today I will pray more and choose to enjoy my life, my kids and my husband more. Yes ,i have to clean ,teach school,and find those stupid round wooden things I need to hang up my curtain in the schoolroom( Man that is bugging me). But in a blink of an eye none of those concerns would matter. Lord thank you for this lesson today and please help me to find a balance so I can enjoy the blessings you have given me on this day!!!!

4 comments:

Sarah said...

Beautiful post Jen. I love when you share your heart and I too have been thinking about the sweet couple you spoke of. You are a blessing to your friends.

Anonymous said...

Sarah said it...

YOU ARE A BLESSING!

I will pray with you and for you!

Valley

jjely said...

Thanks ladies ! Both of you are a blessing to me!!!

Anonymous said...

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